Nadia Afgan has taken to Instagram in a heartbreaking note, after experiencing the response to her revealing that she does not have children by choice on Ahsan Khan’s show, Time Out With Ahsan Khan.
Context
In an interview with actor Ahsan Khan, Nadia Afgan elaborated upon the fact that she does not have children, stating the following:
“Jawad and I have been married for 15 years and we don’t have kids by choice. I’m very fearful and paranoid about the responsibility. There are so many children in the world.You guys [Omair Rana, Ahsan Khan] are brave to have kids.”
The Response
The statement catapulted into garnering a bevy of responses. While some lauded Nadia Afgan for her honesty and choosing to be diligent about bringing life into the world, others did not react within the same vein. Many people took offense, believing this to be a time to pass judgments.
Nadia Afgan Responds
As a result, and to the dismay of her fans who love her, Nadia Afgan had to take to social media to provide justifications and explanations for her statement.
“I had decided years ago that I will never ever talk about this publicly because it was just too painful,” states Nadia. “It still is. But this is needed. It’s needed because of the needless masala our influencers like to share, but more because I am shocked at how women have reacted to my personal statement on [the Ahsan Khan] show.”
“I was a firm believer that all women, whether they have children or not, would know and understand how private a matter this is. I have always believed that all women understand how painful this journey can be, but the past few days have made me see how wrong I’ve been.”
“Ironically, it’s been women – their hurtful comments, cruel judgements, harsh messages, and despicable lack ofcompassion, that made me change my decision and talk about it publicly. [Jawed] and I have been married for 15 years. Both of us adore children – we really wanted to have our own one day. But Allah had other plans – and like everything else in life, we submitted to His will.”
Nadia Afgan Reveals Personal History
“I have had two miscarriages,” stated Nadia Afgan. “I have gotten three failed IUIs done. I have battled depression after losing two unborn children. I have struggled with panic attacks, fearing another miscarriage. I have gained tonnes of weight because of hormonal issues. We were all set for an IVF. But I just couldn’t go ahead with it. I just couldn’t bear the agony of that single line on the pregnancy test – after going through another emotionally and physically draining procedure.”
“My husband, Jodi, has been exceptionally understanding and supportive in my journey. He saw what I went through, understood how I felt, and we made this decision, together. For him my comfort and health, both physical and mental, took precedence over everything.”
Nadia Afgan Chides Backlash
“Contrary to this, the women in my life, close to me and strangers alike, have shown a shocking lack of empathy – all these years and especially the last few days. I have relived my years of loss all over again since Saturday.”
“I am actually sad today. I am sad because I have been an ambassador of women’s rights all my life. I am sad because I truly believed that we women are one, a clan, a tribe. A group which sticks together, which believes in cheering each other on and giving each other respect and freedom of space – which understands what we go through when we bear children, and when we find out that motherhood was not meant for us – and how excruciatingly painful it is to talk about it on public forums. I stand corrected. We are not.”
The Takeaway
There is a lesson for everyone here. Our incessant need to pass judgment on women, police their bodies, and utilize their decisions as fodder for gossip and inane conversation has to come to a stop. In this day and age where frequent epiphanies dawn upon us where we collectively realize we cannot and should not pass relentless judgment and harsh criticism, why do we forget to implement the same knowledge?
Empathy is key. We know this. We understand this. Why is it, then, that we forget the same lesson time and again till someone shares their pain? Why subject anyone to the same?
Here’s to hoping Nadia Afgan finds the serenity she undoubtedly deserves. Moreover, here’s to hoping that this reminder in empathy and regulating our own baseless criticism works this time around.
