Co-written by Maisooma Batool and Atiqa Ali 

So, we, the two young female writers at Galaxy Lollywood, saw this rather interesting interview today about what women should be like, which included some precious little gems such as “(women should) abduct a man and gang-rape him….(to prove) there is equality.” Although we were skeptical at first, we ceded all control as soon as we found out it was based on the ‘legendary’ Khalil-Ur-Rehman Qamar’s ideology of social norms.

Following is a small snippet of the conversation that followed after being enlightened by the views of this living legend of the Pakistani entertainment industry.

M: I have been enlightened. All my life I was under the impression that feminism means equality for all genders and sexes regardless of their social position. But blessed be the legendary existence of KRQ sahib..he told me what feminism is!

A: Yes! I’ll be eternally grateful for learning about feminism from the biggest self proclaimed feminist in Pakistan. Ladies, repeat after me, “feminism means being equal per zara neechay neechay.”

M: Before anyone points out, “But doesn’t that sound misogynist?” let me remind them that the BIGGEST feminist of the country is saying this! The LEGEND himself has said it. So burn down everything you know about women’s rights and get enlightened with us.

A: After all, what even is misogyny? There’s always a woman behind a man’s wrongdoings, or rather a non-woman.

M: Yeah! When has a man ever tortured a woman thanks to the free passes this patriarchal society gives him to act as he pleases? No! It is the woman who is the woman’s biggest enemy.

A: Exactly, Khalil sahib taught us, that men are physically incapable of saying ‘no’ so it’s a woman who should have the strength of character to say no to male advances.

M: Women being thrown acid at because they said “no” to rishtas? That’s not this country’s reality at all! It is not the man’s fault he did it..any “achi aurat” would’ve said no with all the power to throw off the attacker.

A: Exactly, wesay bhi, equality chahiye na? Phenko mardon pe acid. Kidnap karo unhen. Gangrape them. That’ll prove you REALLY are equal.

M: If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em! Want to get equal to men? Well, do the same things as they do!

A: Yeah! What can women do, anyway? All they do is chant slogans and tweet.

M: The biggest feminist said so himself…a man’s nature can’t change.

A: And can you believe these women, always manipulating men. Even in marriage, Rs 50,000 worth of makeup on their faces and when a man takes her home, it’s all a scam.

M: Mard badi pyari cheez hai..he never comes home after having a rough day and says a word of complaint to his wife. The cases of domestic abuse where men beat up their wives over cold food? That’s just propaganda! It is the woman who is to be blamed for being suspicious of men for coming home late.

A: Exactly and look at women. Mard apna saara pyaar, sarmaya, izzat uske paas chor ke jata hai aur wo usse cheat kar deti hai. Uff, these creatures are non-women just as Khalil sahib says.

M: But it does make me wonder..what about the men who cheat?

A: Who do they cheat with? Other women. Duh. Evil evil women, they are.

M: Of course..how silly of me. A man cheats on a woman with a woman! Therefore it is the woman who is the villain..never the man. It’s simple math.

A: Exactly, men can’t say ‘No’. We already discussed this.

M: Oh..these poor, innocent, tortured men who have been victimized by women. Khalil sahib opened my eyes. All this time I was under the impression that women are the victims. But no. If the legend says it’s the man who is the victim, then it is the man indeed.

A: Who are we, mere women, to say otherwise?

On a serious note

2019 is near its end. A whole new decade is upon us and if some of the so-called living legends of our industry are still spewing such filth and nonsense then it is high time we call them out on this behavior instead of giving them more encouragement to continue.

Covering up for their trashy philosophy with big box office numbers and highly egoistic and vitriolic scripts with huge ratings should no longer be the norm. Harassment on gender does not always have to be physical, only. It is this kind of verbal harassment that gives rise to opportunities that lead to actual violence. Khalil-ur-Rehman Qamar may not be afraid of getting a few heated tweets his way however, it is the test of the industry on how they react to this man despite knowing the extent of the venom he can spew against an entire gender based on his own prejudices.

Editor’s Note: The conversation between two individuals in this piece should be treated as satire